Why does my child find groups or sports teams so hard?

Groups of kids, sports teams, playgrounds and playdates! It’s all fun and games, right? Well not always. For lots of kids, these environments can bring about significant challenges, anxiety, behavioural changes or avoidance. So what exactly causes or underlies some of these changes that we see? If you find yourself on a journey trying to help your child succeed in groups, the very first step you take should be to work out what might be making this tricky for your child. In my work as a Paediatric Occupational Therapist, these are some of the things that often play a big part:

1. Sensory Processing Challenges:

Our brains are magnificent things that work hard to decide what information to pay attention to and what to filter out! For some of us, it’s more difficult to filter out loud sounds, unexpected touch from others or too much visual information. This makes group environments very difficult as it can result in sensory overload that could present as anger, anxiety, hyperactivity or disengagement. Sensory Processing is a complex topic that we could go on about for ages so here’s more if you need some further information on this: https://occupationaltherapy.com.au/what-is-sensory-processing-disorder/

2. Delays in play or social skills:

All kids develop at their own pace! This can mean that sometimes even kids the same age can play in very different ways. Some might still only be interested in parallel play alongside their peers, whereas others could be ready for more interactive play. In older kids, some might be ready to take on ideas and compromise, whereas others feel the need to control the outcome of the events. If you notice a big difference in your child’s ability to cope with social challenges in comparison to others the same age, it might be worth getting their social and play skills assessed by an Occupational Therapist or Psychologist.

3. Delays in motor skills/coordination:

Kids are so much more aware of their own abilities than we give them credit for. Even very young kids will often feel frustrated or disengage if they notice big discrepancies between their own motor skills and their peers. Another aspect to think about is that kids will often use their bodies to start social interactions rather than their words. E.g. rather than using language to commence playing with others, they may just position their bodies close to the other kids, start joining in on the activity or “showing off” their skills. Delayed motor skills may prevent this and could be worth assessing or practising. Often it can really help to find that one thing that a child might be good at, whether it be a scooter, bike or a sport and use this as a hook to get them engaged.

4. Lack of practice:

We all need a bit of practice to get good at things!! Sometimes, more exposure to different groups can help kids succeed. It might be worth starting small with one on one playdates and then working towards small groups before diving into big group events. Hopefully, this helped with some context as to why groups may be a little tricky! If you are concerned about any of the above and want to get your child assessed, do reach out to your local Occupational Therapist for some further guidance. 😊